Science Shmience

What the hell is science? Well here's what it is:

The observation, identification, description, experimental investigation, and theoretical explanation of phenomena.

Now, for all I know, God threw this whole Cosmos thing together in a few days and then got to restin'. That's all fine and dandy, but if you want to teach that in a science class, then doesn't it have to be somehow related to the subject at hand? Sure, you can say that creationism (or Designer Intelligence, or whatever the kids are calling it these days) explains the beginning of life, but if you can't submit that to experimental investigation, then what the hell does it have to do with science?

And do you really want to submit your religious beliefs to experimental investigation? Okay, then, here's the experiment: Put together 100 hardcore Christians to pray that I win the Publisher's Clearing House sweepstakes. I'll enter the contest every day for the next month. If I don't win, then there's some pretty clear evidence that prayin' ain't scientifically proven to work. If that doesn't satisfy you, pick another dude to test the experiment again next month. After a while, you will have a scientifically quantifiable answer to whether or not God is listening to and/or answering prayers. See what I mean? You may not get what you want by subjecting your faith to the scientific method.

Another way to test your beliefs, and one that is more preferable to me, is what I will refer to as the real-life experiment of Schrodinger's Christian. But we won't get into that now.

(P.S. If I do win the sweepstakes that first month, that doesn't necessarily mean I'll be singin' hymns with you the next week. I still plan on blowing the money on booze and whores.)